So, you have some kinky fantasies that you’d like to try? How do you get your wife or girlfriend interested?
Boys, boys, boys. You’re genetically programmed to crave sexual variety. Presumably, when we all lived in caves, this ensured that you had the drive to spread your genes as far and wide as possible. And, of course, it being a Neanderthal eat Neanderthal world, survival of the fittest ensured that the fittest sperm was deposited in many womenfolk.
From Caveman to Quiche-Man
So, back to the present, and that need for variety still exists. Typically, when you’re young, this tends to be a desire for multiple partners. However, once you hit your late twenties, it can shift into a simple desire for different sex with the same gal.
All makes sense so far. But, how do you get that gal interested in some of the kinky stuff you’d like to try? Well, it’s actually pretty simple and really only requires two things: A willingness to be open and a willingness to listen.
5 Steps to Get Her Interested in Kinky Sex
1. Talk to her
Simple enough. You’ll never get anywhere just fantasizing about it and quietly bemoaning your boring sex life. But, of course, you need to frame the conversation correctly. In other words, don’t tell her that sex has lost its appeal and you want something more exciting.
Instead, tell her that you’ve been having some kinky thoughts and you’d like to spice things up. It’s also a great idea to ask her whether there are any fantasies she’d like to explore. This is a win-win for you, as it will make her more open to your ideas and, you never know, she might share some of your fetishes!
2. Take things slow
Don’t just dive straight in with some weird and wonderful sexual proclivity. For example, if you’d like to explore some BDSM, start off by suggesting a little spanking (her or you, whichever turns you on) a blindfold or maybe handcuffs. If you both enjoy it, then things are likely to naturally progress to racier territory.
3. Always be considerate of her feelings
Keep in mind, sex isn’t just about you, your fantasies and your orgasm. I think most of you would agree, sex should be a mutually enjoyable experience. Moreover, a woman is much more likely to want adventurous sex with a man she trusts. So, if you’re considerate towards her physical and emotional responses to your suggestions and actions, you’ll find her much more receptive.
4. Sometimes it’s just going to be a “no”
There may be some things that your wife or girlfriend simply considers off the menu just as there are things you would not like to experience. At this point, you may need to assess the situation, because if your sexual tastes are too far apart, it can be a deal breaker.
There is nothing wrong with realizing that you’re not sexually compatible, as long as you are honest with her.
5. Don’t use threats
Never give the her the old, “if you want do this, I’ll find someone who will.” It’s not big and it’s not clever. Although, the threat may work in the short term, it says very little about your opinion of the relationship and, if she acquiesces, it says very little about her opinion of herself.